Never too late for slogans (starring Sarah Palin)
It was really late in the day or late in the election process for someone to show up at Vinnie the Slogan maker's office and it did take me by surprise. Vinnie on the other hand showed a praiseworthy composure and ushered the lady visitor into the room. In tow was a sturdy, square-jawed man wearing a winter jacket made of genuine moose leather.
"It is never too late for a make-over. A slogan that will capture the hearts of millions." said the slogan maker. "As long as it makes the air waves and the tubes quickly."
The lady smiled graciously just like Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live. She didn't say a word. The smell of an exotic perfume was in the air and I think that we had the woman to thank for perfumicating the place (In the words of another Republican Great about to retire in a blaze of glory).
I thought I recognized the guy from the Travel channel or some Sports mag...It came in a flash. "Hi, aren't you the guy who won the Idita Rod a couple of years back."
"Aw, well, shucks," said the gent in the moose jacket. The wife cut in rather sharply, "That is enough Todd. Remember that we are here on business."
"Yes Honey," whispered the Idita Rod winner meekly. I felt sorry that I had got Mister Squarejaws into trouble.
Says the lady cutting to the chase, "Now listen Vinnie. What do you think of this slogan- 'Drill, baby drill,'? I mean like a message."
Vinnie the slogan maker poised his double chin on the knuckles of his hand thoughtfully, "While the slogan 'Drill baby drill' would do well in the oil-producing states of Texas and Alaska and might even do well in the coal producing states such as Western Virginia and Kentucky, it could only be used as a market differentiator in states that are resource rich. But the challenge is that the message would hardly resonate with the country as a whole, and given the spreading eco-friendly green movement...We might need something different to get out the vote."
I piped up, "I got it...How about 'Sell baby sell."
The big guy rolled 'Sell baby sell' a couple of times over his tongue. He requested, "Say I like that line 'Sell baby sell' ...could I use it for my sales department. Our new fishing line brand is selling slowly.
"All yours big guy. The line is for you to keep." I told the Idita Rod champ magnaminously.
"Todd, It is always about you isn't it. Never about me," The lady burst out petulantly.
I felt sorry that I had got the big guy again in trouble. One thing about the lady - she looked like a real ripe peach till the moment she started talking...then she kind of spoilt the effect. Vinnie was muttering to himself as he shuffled the slogan cards on the mahogany table. "Just pull the trigger. There is still time...Get out the message on every single media channel, air and TV. By golly Sarah should have come earlier and yet...it could be a miracle, an ALL IN play. Ofcourse the party would have to be convinced but that was Sarah's job."
He closed cards such as 'The Maverick' and thought out aloud, "Two Mavericks,' and laughed noisily to himself. "Won't do!!' he roared and moved down the stack of slogan cards. He was clearly a man possessed...his eyes rested on 'The urgency of NOW' for a good five minutes.
Finally Vinnie came out with his classic, "You have got to love this Sarah...'Now or Never'."
"What do you mean by Now or Never Vinnie," shouted the exasperated woman.
"Well it is hardly three days to the election...See."
"I came here for a slogan for my Presidential election bid in 2012. This one in 2008 is gone," shrieked the woman. "Come on Todd, this guy is a moron."
And then the rich smell of exotic perfume and moose leather left in a huff.
Posted at 02:50PM Nov 01, 2008 by ravi in General | Comments[0]